He explains, “They seek out the privileged male, which is usually the straight man, and gives them the illusion that they are accepted by the type of male who usually rejects us.”Īs Kort has written in the past, "A typical - and popular - porn scenario features a hot, straight military officer, policeman, boss, coach, teacher or other authority figure who forces himself onto a subservient gay man. Why might gay men seek this out? It’s a sensitive topic, given the too-common homophobic male assumption that gay men are attracted to and will hit on anyone with a penis. Therapist Joe Kort, author of the upcoming book, “Is My Husband Gay, Straight, or Bi?: A Guide for Women Concerned about Their Men,” suggests that gay men seek out straight or “straight-acting” men “because of internalized homophobia. As the study’s press release put it, “This suggests that many of the posts are placed by gay men seeking men, perceived by some gay men to be more masculine, dominant, or ‘straight-acting.’” Only 24 percent of ads seeking out this particular category of men were posted by non-gay identified men. Not that I was expecting anything different, because this week a new study found that one in 10 “m4m” ads seek men who do not identify as gay. It is officially easier to find men seeking sexual encounters with straight men than reproduction Eames chairs on Craigslist (just speaking from highly specific personal experience here). One ad reads, “any straight str8 guy needs head?” Another offers, “Cocksucker Hosting for Straight Guys - Stop By, Get Sucked Off, Go” - but specifies, “You need to be basically straight (wife, girlfriend, date girls, not gay).” A more creative ad entices, “MARRIED? STR8? NEED TO BE GROOMED BUT AFRAID TO DO IT YOURSELF?”
Click “casual encounters,” then “m4m” and the first page of results will return a handful of ads seeking out straight men. Go to Craigslist for the San Francisco Bay Area.